It is no secret that 2016 was a struggle for me – and seemingly many others.
It was the first year that I can vividly recall seeing so many people publicly expressing hurt and pain in their lives. So many personal losses and so many professional disappointments occurred, so it was truly a celebration for most to find themselves ready to reset in a new year. Both personal and professional obstacles forced me to slow down and take a step back to rediscover myself. There were many poignant losses in my life, and moments where I thought I wouldn’t make it out alive, but after months of mental, emotional and spiritual recovery, I was able to once again recognize myself and walk into this new year with pride. “I survived 2016!” For many, 2016 was the year of Hurt so I have declared 2017 the Year of Healing, not only for myself but for many others who faced a year of turmoil last year and made it to the new year. As we heal, let us make it our duty to “live with purpose.”
There were a few things I learned last year that I would like to share. This may help someone:
- Sometimes it’s just not your fault: As adults, we understand that you often need to accept when you screw up. But what happens when you have all your ducks in a row and the end result is still negative? You may be great at what you do but you will not get always that opportunity to shine due to someone else’s insecurities. When this happens you need to reflect on the situation, understand it’s not your fault and move on to the next opportunity that comes your way. Trust me. Your blessings may take a detour, but will always find its way back to you.
- Be Mindful of Others: We are all connected and every action taken affects someone else. And no matter how much you want things to go well, you cannot control how other people live their lives. Most people live for the love and comfort of themselves only, and rarely look ahead to how their own actions could hinder or harm someone else. What I’ve learnt from this is not only to spend time reflecting on my own actions and how they affect others close to me, but also how to recognize when someone’s actions are more harmful than helpful and remove yourself from the situation.
- Your mental health is important!: Your mental health is one of the most fragile aspects of one’s well-being of our, yet it’s the one we neglect the most. Especially as women, we spend more time taking care of others and not ourselves. I have learned that you need to create a life where peace reigns and chaos is not an option. Don’t find the time, but MAKE the time to decompress mentally. Free your mind and enjoy life. #nostress
- Some People do not deserve Your Best: Not because you simply put out your best self, you would always get that respect in return. People who respect you and desire to work with you or be in your life, would demonstrate this. Their actions would make their intentions clear. Sometimes your best is not enough to secure partnerships or relationships not meant for you. Move on.
Now it’s time to Heal. In this year of healing, it’s time to slay!
Here are some things to focus on for this Year of Healing:
- Live with Purpose – I have found that many people merely exist in the world and because of this they are often left unfulfilled and directionless. Working day by day to just to pay bills and survive is no life. So many people die without leaving any impact –big or small- on the world whatsoever. They leave no legacy for themselves, family or offspring to be proud of. If no one remembers you, or worse yet remembers you as someone who was a “waste of space” have you truly lived? Action Plan: Ask yourself “What do I want to be remembered for when I die?” What contribution do you want to bring to the world? Brain storm what you’re passionate about (outside of your job, family and accumulation of wealth) and build it into your life. It does not need to be Mother Theresa big, but something you can be proud about that will leave a strong legacy.
- Safe Guard Your Space – Negative energy can hinder a person’s progress in life. Negative friendships, intimate relationships, family relationships and business partnerships should be severed within the first quarter of this year if you have not done so already. Toxic people can truly create an aura in your life that negatively impacts your well-being. Action Plan: Write a list of people in your life who can be deemed toxic, then get rid of them. This includes –
- people who never have anything positive to say about themselves, you or others. Negative words have power and blocks your blessings. Get rid of them!
- people who complain a lot but pursues no action to get themselves out of bad situations. Everyone has problems, but dwelling on them solves nothing and certainly puts everyone in a depressing mood. Get rid of them!
- people who live without a purpose. If they are moving around life with no direction or plans for success and peace in their lives or the lives of others, Get rid of them!
- intimate and sexual relationships that breeds negativity. Some people are unaware that when entering a sexual relationship, there is an exchange of energy that takes place between participants For every person you have sex with, you absorb their energy. The more negative energy exchanged, the more your life becomes cumbersome – like mud. Have you ever noticed that during or after a sexual relationship with a particularly toxic person, many things go wrong in your own life? Get rid of them.
- Mental Wellness – with the hustle and bustle of daily life, it is often difficult finding time for mental wellness particularly if you’re someone who is juggling family and career. It is important to take time for yourself. Some people may not have the time or finances to take a trip or go to the spa often, but you can create a space in your own home and/or office to regain peace and balance in your life. You may be tempted to use ‘insufficient room’ as an excuse for such “luxuries,” especially here in NY. However, I found with a little creativity you can make a small space of your own. My corner consists of relaxation candles (I’m currently using Aromatherapy Be Peaceful from Target), reading materials, prayer book and even my personalized prayer list and I may put my vision board near the area too. Now I spend most early mornings in that corner reading or just thinking and centering myself. Action Plan: Find a small space in your home and/or office that would help bring you peace of mind. Outfit this small space with colors and items that represents peace to you (candles, spiritual artifacts, family portraits, soothing colors etc). Carve out at least at least 10 mins out of your busy schedule for a quick Me Time. You can use this space for meditation, prayer, reflection, quiet time, reading time or even music. However you choose to spend your time in you Corner of Peace is up to you. Make it yours.
- TEAM UP – having strong support is so important. Have you ever heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child?” Well, it takes a team/support system to accomplish goals. Associate yourself with like-minded individuals to help you achieve your life goals. Sometimes teams grow organically and sometimes you have to go out and find them. Networking is your friend. Author Thomas C. Corley writes in his book, “Change Your Habits, Change Your Life.””Long-term success is only possible when you have a positive mental outlook,” Corley states. “You are only as successful as those you frequently associate with.” Action plan: Spend some time searching for networking events in your area. Google, Instagram, Meetup, Eventbrite and some Facebook Groups are great places to start. When you have made a list of events you would like to attend, schedule them in and show up!
- Reconnect with Friends: everyone is busy. But just like you need a team to become successful in your goals, you should make the time to reconnect with the true friends in your life – the ones who have supported you and would be there for you no matter what. Action Plan: Make a schedule to contact your friends. Sometimes you may not always have the time to meet up but a five minute call while you’re feeding the baby or walking to the station would not derail your schedule. Put a reminder in your phone if you need to. Don’t lose good friends because you refuse to make the time to connect with them. Call! Meetup!
Let’s hit the ground running.
This year I ask for: Peace, Patience & Prosperity for myself and all of you.