Fresh out of Black History month and right into Women’s History Month, we find many ways to celebrate unity and love in the purest sense of the words. In this high political climate no one can deny that there has been an added layer of pressure to become our best selves lately and show ‘the man’ what we are made of. And what are we made of? I’ve always held up the notion that we are made up of POWER. But you wouldn’t really know this by the way our stories are often told. However, we cannot always blame ‘the man’ for the skewed versions of our stories, we need to look at ourselves and ask ourselves: Are we truly united as a people? For decades there have been a strong animosity between black men and black women, and it seems to be growing. Coming out out of 2016, many people seem to have had their hearts crushed by their significant others or people they care about. Each gender blaming the other for the breakdown of the black family. Black woman are often heard lamenting about the harsh treatment they receive from black men, the consistent infidelity, lack of respect and the uninspired and often lack-luster way they live and love. Black men on the other hand have often expressed that their women don’t respect them anymore, especially the “strong, independent black females.” They talk back and they degrade them at every turn. This is a fight that has been going on for so long, we’re a community divided.
But of course, this is not the tone for across the board. There are many black couples out there showing us what Black Love looks like and building an admirable platform for others to follow. One such couple that’s on everyone’s lips is Barack and Michelle Obama, former President and First Lady of the United States. Their relationship has always been one in the forefront of discussions when it comes to #relationshipgoals. And in the wake of their departure from the White House and into private, more social media tongues were wagging about the couple’s illustrious romance more than Obama’s presidency. What really makes this couple such an aspiration and the epitome of relationship goals is that they are truly a Power Couple. And as a Power Couple, they have made history and will leave their mark on this world. One of the issues with modern love is the lack of real goals when people come together as a couple. If physical attributes and sexual lust is your only focus, you’re already setting yourselves up for failure.
So what really makes a Power Couple:
- Each person adds value to the relationship to create a strong partnership. When you take a seat at the table, you better be bringing something good enough to keep your spot there. Be the couple where as individuals you are accomplished in your own right. Your individual accomplishments identifies you as a strong person on your own and when you come together as a couple, you are now a force to be reckoned with. (Like the Obamas)
- There is a strong level of Respect for each other. Respect is the glue that holds a strong couple together, and without it your foundation falls apart.
- Each person both value each other and show gratitude. A couple that show each other appreciation for the big and little things they do for the betterment of themselves, their relationships, and family, knows how to value their mate. Sacrifices have to be made in any relationship by both parties and many times it won’t be easy. That’s why it’s called a sacrifice. But when gratitude is shown for what you have done it is easier to want to do more.
- Each person understand that they need each other. This is perhaps one of the biggest issues in modern relationships: “I don’t need no man” or “I don’t need no woman.” The ‘I don’t need you syndrome’ will tear you apart before you even lay your first brick on that relationship’s foundation. Each person comes into a relationship with their strengths and their weaknesses. Where your partner is weak, your strength is needed, and where you are weak, your partner’s strength is needed.
- You both have clear goals for your future. Like walking into a business meeting, don’t walk into a relationship aimless. Know why you’re together, what keeps you together and what motivates you to stay together and build together. Couples have a higher success rate of staying together if they have the similar goal of achieving things together.
- You both are willing to share in the glory as well as the pain. “If you can’t be with me at my worse, then you don’t deserve me at my best.” We’ve all heard this before. Pain often comes before glory and your partner should be willing and ready to share both experiences with you..
- Finally, you both grow spiritually. If you believe in nothing, you fall for everything. Find a spiritual balance that can keep you grounded as a couple. Note, I did not say find a religion or religious denomination. A strong spiritual bond helps keep you together as well as gives you that armor needed to stand up to the consistent challenges from the outside world.
As a famous couple Michelle and Barack Obama made history and have risen to worldwide fame for their respective qualities and their transparent love for each other. However, we may not all be on the path to presidency or international public status, but everyday we have the opportunity to build ourselves into amazing individuals and strong powerful couples; creating better lives for ourselves, our families and our communities by creating legacies of our own.
Besides the Obamas, we are not without other visible strong couples out there. Take a look at the gallery of other famous notable black couples:
Video by Essence.com
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